Blending families

Here is a bit more into my life if you care to know. My family is a blended family, meaning that my husband and I both have kids from previous marriages. I knew there were going to be challenges when I married Dave and accepted Logan as my son. But WOW these last few days have been the most challenging yet. Logan's bio-mom is not what you call a normal mom. She is one of the most selfish people I have ever met. Ok I know if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, right? Well to understand Logan you have to know what environment he comes from.

Logan is such a wonderfully creative, high spirited little boy! His imagination is so incredible it blows my mind with the things conjures up. And the fun part is the stories he tells are ever changing. So when I see someone who is supposed to be nurturing and motherly, not appreciate that, I have a hard time saying anything nice about her. She doesn't know or appreciate what a wonderful son she has.

That being said, Logan has had issues with having two moms. I never pushed for him to call me mom. I had to deal with my daughter calling someone else mom, so I didn't want to put someone else in that spot. However, my daughter shocked us when she said to Logan, "You can call her mommy if you want too." My heart swelled at her generosity and I felt truly accepted and loved when Logan agreed. This was and never has been an issue since, except for his bio-mom, but we won't get into that mess.

The challenges Logan brought to the table were easy at first. He suffered from throwing tantrums or melt-downs. I've been told I have a calming nature about me. Back when Dave and I were dating, I decided to help calm a tantrum. It didn't seem to help since he wasn't used to me yet. After Dave and I got married the tantrums became more frequent. I remember thinking "What have I gotten into with this kid?" I know not the nicest thing to think, but I am being honest. This was tough! I didn't know what to do and how to deal with it. We tried several different approaches and nothing worked...until... It was a weekend where we had just Logan. He was determined to have a bad day and we were all frustrated and exhausted. Dave was napping so I had to deal with Logan. He started in with his screaming that he wanted his Daddy. I simply stated "Well he is sleeping, so you are gonna deal with me, and I ain't goin' anywhere." I simply said that statement out of frustration, but it cut deep into Logan's heart. Once he knew I wasn't going to flake out on him (like his mother does) he knew it was ok to stop pushing me away and allowed me in. He became my big boy Logan.

Now that we are two and a half years into this blended family, he has progressed a lot, until his bio-mom had a baby. She is now playing favorites and we are again dealing with more behavioral issues with Logan trying to act out his frustrations. This kid doesn't deserve all the crap he's had to deal with and live through. I will never quit or give up on Logan...which makes him my biggest and best challenge yet. I will keep filling that hole that his bio-mom keeps digging because Logan is worth it!