The next Diva Mom I want to share with you is someone who has been a mother to me, Dawn Holst. I met her when she started working for my family's music business. She started out in the office and then came to work in my department. I wasn't sure if our personalities were compatible at first, but after getting to know her, she became an instant friend. I am so blessed by her friendship.
Dawn has a very opinionated and personable personality. She's got gumption and won't give up on anything or anyone. She is the one who helped me get a back bone when I needed it most, and most importantly, supported me when my own blood family didn't. For this reason, we adopted each other into our families. She became my adopted mom, and her husband Maurice became my adopted Dad. I truly felt a part of the family when I was invited to the family holiday gatherings. I love Dawn and Maurice as if they were truly my real parents. I love bragging about them to other people and am proud to call them parents.
Dawn is a wonderful Grandma to my own kids. She welcomed my new husband and his son without any hesitations. She never played favorites with any of the kids. I now know that God brought her into my life to fill that void that my mother left in me. I truly believe that I am the mother I am today because of what Dawn has taught me. Love unconditionally and completely.
Dawn, thank you for coming into my life and loving me like I was your own daughter. You are the mother I never had, and I am a better person because of you! Thank you for all that you did, and continue to do for me and my family! I love you!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Blending families
Here is a bit more into my life if you care to know. My family is a blended family, meaning that my husband and I both have kids from previous marriages. I knew there were going to be challenges when I married Dave and accepted Logan as my son. But WOW these last few days have been the most challenging yet. Logan's bio-mom is not what you call a normal mom. She is one of the most selfish people I have ever met. Ok I know if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, right? Well to understand Logan you have to know what environment he comes from.
Logan is such a wonderfully creative, high spirited little boy! His imagination is so incredible it blows my mind with the things conjures up. And the fun part is the stories he tells are ever changing. So when I see someone who is supposed to be nurturing and motherly, not appreciate that, I have a hard time saying anything nice about her. She doesn't know or appreciate what a wonderful son she has.
That being said, Logan has had issues with having two moms. I never pushed for him to call me mom. I had to deal with my daughter calling someone else mom, so I didn't want to put someone else in that spot. However, my daughter shocked us when she said to Logan, "You can call her mommy if you want too." My heart swelled at her generosity and I felt truly accepted and loved when Logan agreed. This was and never has been an issue since, except for his bio-mom, but we won't get into that mess.
The challenges Logan brought to the table were easy at first. He suffered from throwing tantrums or melt-downs. I've been told I have a calming nature about me. Back when Dave and I were dating, I decided to help calm a tantrum. It didn't seem to help since he wasn't used to me yet. After Dave and I got married the tantrums became more frequent. I remember thinking "What have I gotten into with this kid?" I know not the nicest thing to think, but I am being honest. This was tough! I didn't know what to do and how to deal with it. We tried several different approaches and nothing worked...until... It was a weekend where we had just Logan. He was determined to have a bad day and we were all frustrated and exhausted. Dave was napping so I had to deal with Logan. He started in with his screaming that he wanted his Daddy. I simply stated "Well he is sleeping, so you are gonna deal with me, and I ain't goin' anywhere." I simply said that statement out of frustration, but it cut deep into Logan's heart. Once he knew I wasn't going to flake out on him (like his mother does) he knew it was ok to stop pushing me away and allowed me in. He became my big boy Logan.
Now that we are two and a half years into this blended family, he has progressed a lot, until his bio-mom had a baby. She is now playing favorites and we are again dealing with more behavioral issues with Logan trying to act out his frustrations. This kid doesn't deserve all the crap he's had to deal with and live through. I will never quit or give up on Logan...which makes him my biggest and best challenge yet. I will keep filling that hole that his bio-mom keeps digging because Logan is worth it!
Logan is such a wonderfully creative, high spirited little boy! His imagination is so incredible it blows my mind with the things conjures up. And the fun part is the stories he tells are ever changing. So when I see someone who is supposed to be nurturing and motherly, not appreciate that, I have a hard time saying anything nice about her. She doesn't know or appreciate what a wonderful son she has.
That being said, Logan has had issues with having two moms. I never pushed for him to call me mom. I had to deal with my daughter calling someone else mom, so I didn't want to put someone else in that spot. However, my daughter shocked us when she said to Logan, "You can call her mommy if you want too." My heart swelled at her generosity and I felt truly accepted and loved when Logan agreed. This was and never has been an issue since, except for his bio-mom, but we won't get into that mess.
The challenges Logan brought to the table were easy at first. He suffered from throwing tantrums or melt-downs. I've been told I have a calming nature about me. Back when Dave and I were dating, I decided to help calm a tantrum. It didn't seem to help since he wasn't used to me yet. After Dave and I got married the tantrums became more frequent. I remember thinking "What have I gotten into with this kid?" I know not the nicest thing to think, but I am being honest. This was tough! I didn't know what to do and how to deal with it. We tried several different approaches and nothing worked...until... It was a weekend where we had just Logan. He was determined to have a bad day and we were all frustrated and exhausted. Dave was napping so I had to deal with Logan. He started in with his screaming that he wanted his Daddy. I simply stated "Well he is sleeping, so you are gonna deal with me, and I ain't goin' anywhere." I simply said that statement out of frustration, but it cut deep into Logan's heart. Once he knew I wasn't going to flake out on him (like his mother does) he knew it was ok to stop pushing me away and allowed me in. He became my big boy Logan.
Now that we are two and a half years into this blended family, he has progressed a lot, until his bio-mom had a baby. She is now playing favorites and we are again dealing with more behavioral issues with Logan trying to act out his frustrations. This kid doesn't deserve all the crap he's had to deal with and live through. I will never quit or give up on Logan...which makes him my biggest and best challenge yet. I will keep filling that hole that his bio-mom keeps digging because Logan is worth it!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Diva Mom Wendy
Ok so here I go. How do I describe my best friend Wendy....Hmmmmm. Let me start by telling you how we met. Wendy and I were in the same 5th grade class at Madison Elementary. She was sort of shy, but then so was I. I don't remember her much since we weren't very close. She had this boyish haircut that she obviously hated. I wasn't mean to her, but we never played at each others houses. I was more friends with her neighbor down the street, Amanda.
Wendy and I didn't become close friends until junior high school. Back then our junior high had grades 7 thru 9 all in one school. I don't quiet remember how it happened, but we just clicked one day and became inseparable. She was so bold, popular and out-spoken, which were traits that I envied in her. Oh and she wore her bangs 3 inches off her head! Wendy and her big hair! LOL She was so pretty with her big electric blue eyes..I always felt so plain and boring next to her. She held the boys interest more than she knew.
So we are in the 9th grade and VERY boy crazy. We had our fights over boys and sometimes wouldn't talk for weeks. What silly girls we were! Even though we had our fights we always made up and became closer friends. We had our moments where boyfriends became our lives and we drifted, but never for very long. There did however, come a time where we drifted and our lives went in different directions for a few years.
Wendy became a mom at a very young age. We weren't at a very close time in our friendship when she became pregnant. I knew without a doubt that she was going to be a great mom. She has that special, loving nature that mom's have. And I was right, she was and still is an outstanding mom. She made those painful sacrifices that, sadly, some mom's don't make. She supported herself through nursing school while taking care of two kids and worked on top of that! It takes a strong person to get through that. While I watched her graduate, I became teary eyed because I was so very proud of her. She is one of my sources for inspiration.
My best friend has been there through the bad times. She's seen me at my worst, and my best. She isn't just my best friend, she is my soul sister. God brought us together for a reason, to bring out the best in each other. Growing up an only child, I had always wanted a sister. I would pray at night and ask God to somehow find me a sister. He gave me Wendy. Thank you God for answering my prayer. Thank you Wendy for being my support, my inspiration, my shoulder to cry on, and for loving me no matter what. You are and will always be my soul sister. I love you!
Wendy and I didn't become close friends until junior high school. Back then our junior high had grades 7 thru 9 all in one school. I don't quiet remember how it happened, but we just clicked one day and became inseparable. She was so bold, popular and out-spoken, which were traits that I envied in her. Oh and she wore her bangs 3 inches off her head! Wendy and her big hair! LOL She was so pretty with her big electric blue eyes..I always felt so plain and boring next to her. She held the boys interest more than she knew.
So we are in the 9th grade and VERY boy crazy. We had our fights over boys and sometimes wouldn't talk for weeks. What silly girls we were! Even though we had our fights we always made up and became closer friends. We had our moments where boyfriends became our lives and we drifted, but never for very long. There did however, come a time where we drifted and our lives went in different directions for a few years.
Wendy became a mom at a very young age. We weren't at a very close time in our friendship when she became pregnant. I knew without a doubt that she was going to be a great mom. She has that special, loving nature that mom's have. And I was right, she was and still is an outstanding mom. She made those painful sacrifices that, sadly, some mom's don't make. She supported herself through nursing school while taking care of two kids and worked on top of that! It takes a strong person to get through that. While I watched her graduate, I became teary eyed because I was so very proud of her. She is one of my sources for inspiration.
My best friend has been there through the bad times. She's seen me at my worst, and my best. She isn't just my best friend, she is my soul sister. God brought us together for a reason, to bring out the best in each other. Growing up an only child, I had always wanted a sister. I would pray at night and ask God to somehow find me a sister. He gave me Wendy. Thank you God for answering my prayer. Thank you Wendy for being my support, my inspiration, my shoulder to cry on, and for loving me no matter what. You are and will always be my soul sister. I love you!
Diva mom apology
Ok so it's been 9 months or so since my last blog. What can I say but sorry! I'm a bad blogger, I know! LOL So I decided it's the end of the year, I am turning over new "leaves" *my own way of saying I have new years' resolutions*. One of those new "leaves" is to blog more. My hubby blogs about his passion for his faith and wants to encourage people. He doesn't know this but he has inspired me to do the same only in my own little way. Another "leaf" is to complete more of many projects that I've started. I know I have it in me to complete them, I just need to give myself deadlines to help motivate me. I am also going to eat healthier, exercise more, etc. So there are a few things I am resolving to do better. There are more, but I will not bore you with them.
As far as direction for my blog, I named my blog Diva Mommies for a reasons. #1 my first choice Diva Mommy was taken. #2 I fit because I consider myself to be a great mom. My blog doesn't have to be entirely about me though. As I logged in to my blog for the first time in about 9 months, I had a bit of a revelation. I could write about other moms who are what I call Diva Mommies. So...that will help me to stay focused and motivated right? Honestly probably for a little while. It's a good start. I also plan to share recipes, frustrations, pain, accomplishments, and laughter. So without any further adieu..I am going to go start working on my first blog about another Diva Mom.
Have a Merry Christmas Bloggers!
Nikki
As far as direction for my blog, I named my blog Diva Mommies for a reasons. #1 my first choice Diva Mommy was taken. #2 I fit because I consider myself to be a great mom. My blog doesn't have to be entirely about me though. As I logged in to my blog for the first time in about 9 months, I had a bit of a revelation. I could write about other moms who are what I call Diva Mommies. So...that will help me to stay focused and motivated right? Honestly probably for a little while. It's a good start. I also plan to share recipes, frustrations, pain, accomplishments, and laughter. So without any further adieu..I am going to go start working on my first blog about another Diva Mom.
Have a Merry Christmas Bloggers!
Nikki
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